I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
