So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
