Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
