I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
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