We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize