I just pynch a tree in the face
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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