You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
