I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Randomize