Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
