GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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