New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
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