Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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