Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
