If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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