Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
