I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
