Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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