Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
