K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
im holly from the hills drunk
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
