if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
