WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
