I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Lo siento on account of my penis...
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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