I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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