What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
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