i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
