so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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