is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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