He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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