apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
