I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
