So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Be still, my beating vagina.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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