Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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