An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize
