Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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