I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I'd cum for enchiladas.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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