Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
