Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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