So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
