somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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