Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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