we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
