every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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