The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
