Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
