We won't sleep together?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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