The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
