Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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