Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize