mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
