STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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