just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
