I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
