"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
