dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
