I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
