Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
