he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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