why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
