dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
