its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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