There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
