have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
