how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
