I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
