she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
