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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
farters have to be the big spoon...
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
You should frame my arrest warrant.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
