so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
