just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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