Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
We smell like vodka and hangover
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