Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize