I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize