You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
