So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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