the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
