he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
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