That's intense
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
